Saturday, November 13, 2010

I'm still here...

Months have come and gone since my last post. My daughter is now six months pregnant and she has found out this one is a GIRL! That evens the score a bit in the grandchild department. Five boys, and now, three girls. Valentine's day is her arrival date. Can't wait.

Feeling a bit tired today, but good. Working on Wordz of Life items and getting ready for the one big bazaar I do each year. Trying to keep my etsy shop stocked. Life is good. I am peaceful. God is, and I am His so what need concern me???

Thanks Daddy God for your grace and love. That's all I hafta say.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Priceless Art...

Yesterday I received this amazing picture from my 4 year old grandson, Manny. It's his mom. As you can see from the picture, something's going on with mom. I was confused when she handed the picture to me, thinking Manny drew himself inside mommy. She said, "it's exactly what you think it is. That's our good news!" Wow!

I am stunned, shocked and happy cause I always love babies...they are so squishy!!! And adorable, and cute...and...yes, I know there's the other stuff...poop, crying...But the good far outweighs the bad! Thought I'd share here. I'm gonna be a grammy to 8! Ain't that great??!!


Wednesday, June 9, 2010

The God Room...

The other day I was sitting in my quiet place, the room in my home we call the God Room. It's one of the bedrooms that became a "spare" room because three out of four of our children has moved out to begin homes of their own. It's even shaped like a cross...two dormers across from each other make the shape happen. This God Room is my "healing haven".

It has a bed, a loveseat, a rocker and footstool. A table with all you need for writing down your heart and bookshelves stuffed with God type books. It also has gum wrapper chains cascading over where the rocker is and many pieces of sentiment sitting around reminding me of various God moments when He yet again healed another part of my heart. The red train caboose that reminds me that love is an action and the feelings will catch up later (going from the caboose to the engine). The sparkly silver princess type shoe and the three tiaras (all different) that remind me who my Daddy God says I am on those days that I cannot comprehend how He could possibly love me.

Then there are the WORDS. Names of God, scriptures that have tugged at my heart, random quotes or sayings...all words that God has used to change me, to grow me. All these words...on the walls. Written in sharpies in an absolute rainbow of colors! Because I'm the mom in this house and I'm ALLOWED to write on the walls!!!

Sitting in my God Room that day, I looked around and realized I felt chaos. A couple things had been put in there to be stored, the floor really needed vacuumed, the sentimental items had been shifted and made askew...all this happening over a few weeks time and I felt CLUTTERED, CHAOTIC. My spirit unsettled.

Yesterday, I spent the day in there. Praying to God about chaos and unsettledness and also cleaning up God's space. By the end of my cleaning and setting aright of that room, I had realized something. Well, God in His gracious love and care had laid on my heart something. His special room in our house, was a direct reflection of my spirit, heart and mind at that time. I had been slowly becoming more and more unsettled in my spirit. More and more cluttered of mind. More and more chaotic in my heart. Upon that realization I prayed for a thorough cleaning inside me! I had taken much upon myself, with that attitude of oh "I" can do this! Note the word "I". I had set Him aside in the busyness of life til "later". The combination of "I", and setting aside...well, let's just say, is not a good thing! I prayed, He cleaned.

Now the God Room has this COMPLETELY different atmosphere. Like new air in it. It is clutter and chaos free. And my spirit? It is refreshed, it is decluttered, it is CLEAN. Praise His Name!

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

This is a repost from my old blog...but was so IMPORTANT to the ME inside, I am posting it again. Maybe it will touch your heart in someway. -- Jeanette Originally posted July 9, 2009

Sometimes God is moving in so many ways in my life, I can hardly keep up it seems! He so loves each of us and desires for us to grow...more like Him...more in knowledge of Him. And sometimes, I just wanna be me...what I mean is....focused on me and MY wants. MY preceived needs. What I know, gimme, gimme, gimme oh and then I'll be happy, God! This is a story of what God did in me very recently. It is transparent, vulnerable to put it here but what I wrote here was written the day after all that took place, and posting it here is a monument to Daddy God and His amazing grace. Be blessed. - Jeanette

This weekend He had me do something I thought I would never do. In fact, when it was first brought up, I truly almost physically vomited. But God has a way of talking and correcting with gentle love...and 24 hours later He had me seeing it His way...My mom and I, well...we've had issues. He's shown me her and how she got the way she is and has been...but it still doesn't take away the anger, rage and almost a hate that revisits even though I have thought I've forgiven her.

Talking with her this week on the phone...she asked me to come up to cut her toenails. She is 83 and has had three hip replacements (one redone twice) and for her to do this task herself is virtually impossible...I understood that, and still...vomit rose to the surface. The thought of bowing down to serve her when all I've ever felt was dislike from her, lack of approval...and that "I'm not good enough" stamp across my forehead that she put there through years of negative talk and belittlement all at my expense...well, to bow down in service...caused bile to rise up in me. I sat and talked with God long and hard asking WHY did I react that way...and He showed me. He moved me around to having His heart by simply speaking to me, "pray for her". I KNEW I could do I did. Then He spoke again saying..."go wash her feet". Well that covered a whole lot more feelings and emotions let me tell you!!! I knew I had to do it, I squirmed because I wanted to obey yet wanted to run...I had to do it. It wasn't about my mom. It was totally about my healing in that part of my heart that she occupies. I went. And when I first got there, it was was ugly. She was mean, bitter, angry, ugly in words and face. The usual Mom. I wanted to run, boy, did I want to run! And then, I think God, knowing my heart, SILENCED the demons, silenced the oppression, and light walked in. The mood got better, we had a nice lunch together in her apartment. Then I said, "I have something for us to do after lunch". She said ok. And that's how it all got set up. Over the next hour, with my mom sitting in her easy chair, I soaked her feet...I trimmed her jagged, long toe nails. I smoothed them with an emery board. Then I said, "I brought some nail polish, Mom. Do you want me to paint your nails?" And that was when the most amazing part of this time began to happen. In a wonderful childlike voice, she said, "oh yes!! please!" And so I did. I sat on the floor and painted her nails a lovely light purplish pink. And the entire time, she spoke positive after positive. "Oh Sha-Netty (that's what she has always called me)they look so nice! You could have a job doing this! Look how pretty they are! Oh, they are beautiful! She cooed, "My Sha-Netty"...When I moved to her second foot leaving the other to dry...she said it. The statement that HEALED my heart. "Oh Jeanette, (using my name this time)I know I talk awful. I know I say awful things...but you have to know that I LOVE YOU TO DEATH". Wow. In those words the gates of Hell shuddered. Time stood still. I had waited 50 years for those words, in that loving strings attached. God in his graciousness had held tears and any overflow of emotion in check for me because He knew how hard this all was...but when she said that, I felt tears...and I could not look at her for fear I would begin to cry and never stop. I finished painting her nails...and left them to dry. We watched more of the Cooking Channel, and later I massaged lotion into her beautiful feet. When it was time to leave, I said, "well you're gonna need to take you socks and slippers off to see your pretty toes!" She smiled and said, "I will in just a minute. I'm gonna put on my sandals and go get the mail, and tell them all about my pretty toes". I left then. I got down the second hallway of her building before I began to cry. And I cried and I cried and I cried. God's goodness makes me wordless. It's why I couldn't write this all earlier...I had to wait for the words to catch up with the actual happening. A simple sentence said with the tone and depth of love HEALED THAT PART OF MY HEART. Amazing. And all because I listened to Him. I washed my mom's feet and He cleansed my heart. Amazing.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010


Yesterday evening I attended a Princess Party. Not just any Princess Party, but a Princess Party given to honor the accomplishment and hard work of some very special ladies. I was there because I have had the privilege and honor of praying for these ladies all these weeks they've been working hard. They've been busy breaking the chains of the enemy in their lives. Facing down horrendous memories and calling them out for what they are. Some for the first time are allowing themselves to be little girls, and experiencing the wonder of a child like they never could before. They all have completed going through the book Wounded Hearts...which deals with coming through childhood sexual abuse.

Last night as we all sat there wearing our cardboard princess hats, stuffing our faces with marvelous food, and laughing till I practically wet myself, I stopped and looked around the room. And all I could see was...COURAGE. STRENGTH. BOLDNESS. Where before, there was none. It moved me so deeply I couldn't help but cry.

They had been asked to share if they would like, a moment that meant something to them in going through this class. A moment we call an AHA moment. Several women shared...from special art created from their pain, or from their healing, to listening together to a song that means the world to one woman. There were lyrics shared, poems read, visual illustrations of their hearts. It was amazing and made me so aware of...GOD. I cried more. To see and hear these dear ladies emerging from the darkness the enemy has kept them in for so long, was overwhelming to me. And my heart rejoiced with the knowing that victory after victory had taken place, the enemy had been DISplaced...and yes,I know there are more victories to come for each of them, that they have more roads to walk in getting completely free of the tangled forest of sexual abuse, but it's a start. A grand start. They each hold the hand of the Lord God Almighty, securely now walking out with Him and the scripture springs to mind, "if God is for me, who can be against me?" Indeed. These women have forever changed me. God bless them.


Saturday, May 22, 2010


Do you ever have your day planned out? I mean, you are going to get things ACCOMPLISHED today! Raring to go, ready to tackle this or that project!!

And then, there's a CHANGE IN PLANS. Grown kids start stopping by. I am NOT whining about this...I love it. But my plans get crimped. And inside I feel a bit sorry for myself. It's really disgusting to admit that. The grown kids show up with THEIR kids, and before you know it, the grands are entertaining this crimped heart of mine. Just had a piano "concert" from E and L. First time L has been on the piano bench and actually got to "play" the piano. It was all wonderful to see and hear and I had to admit to God, "ok, I like YOUR plan better".

Then another grown up child of mine calls. They are stopping by in about an hour and a half. And again, that "crimped" feeling of MY plans. But, I have already talked with God about this impending visit, and have already admitted "indeed God, YOUR plans are always better." And so, I will shower and get ready to enjoy this God given, God driven time with them.

My plans will keep. They'll get done another day. God's perfect plan, God's perfect timing. God's perfect blessings. And I'm not going to miss one of them, He knows what is best...ALWAYS.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Today is a beautiful day outside my window! Amazing! It makes me want to do so many things... but I have a list of pressing things to attend to first, then maybe I can go work in the flower bed outside. Writing here is one of those pressing things. I just have to tell God thanks for the lovely day. He is an amazing Creator an amazing artist and we have the complete pleasure of gazing upon His masterpieces daily. I love Him so much, and am so grateful to be His child. I just had to tell you so.

Be blessed in this day. He's right there with you, I promise.